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By David Wygant I was having breakfast the other day with a friend who was giving dating advice to his son. For purposes of his anonymity, I am going to call just call him "Son. Since you are 18 years old, you are allowed to date a woman half your age plus seven. You're 50, so that means you can date a woman who is And that means I can date a woman who is You can date someone as young as half your age plus seven years? It's so male-skewed that it's ridiculous. It's no wonder that so many women feel that men their own age are too immature.
It's because of this urban legend that has gone around forever. Based upon this rule, the only time that a man can date a woman his own age is when he's 14 years old because half of 14 is seven, and seven plus seven is So the ripe old age of 14 -- the age when you still have pimples, are as insecure as can be and are unlikely to get anything more than a kiss from a woman your own age -- is the only time when you can enjoy dating a woman your own 22 year old dating 30 year old What about if your year-old looks at you and says, "I'm ready to date, Dad"? Do you say, "No problem. Half your age is five. Add seven to that, so you can date a year-old -- an older woman"? There is so much a year-old can teach a year-old -- advanced coloring, advanced texting, and so many other important life skills.
Then you get a little older. You're 20 years old and, under this rule, you can date a year-old. There you are in college, and you get to go back to high school again to find a girlfriend. When you're 25, you can date a and-a-half-year-old. So there you are in the working world for the last three years, and now you can date sophomores in college. You can go back to attending frat parties and having people throw up on you. When you're 30, you can date a year-old. That's exactly where you want to be. You have been out in the business world for eight years, and you want to be dating a girl fresh out of college? Do you really want to date someone who hasn't actually had a real job yet and is still going out and drinking like a college student?
When you're 35, you can date a and-a-half-year-old woman. Now you're dating someone 11 years younger than you. Your friends are going to be really impressed that you can date a younger woman. How well does the rule reflect scientific evidence for age preferences? Researchers Buunk and colleagues asked men and women to identify the ages they would consider when evaluating someone for relationships of different levels of involvement. People reported distinct age preferences for marriage ; a serious relationship; falling in love ; casual sex ; and sexual fantasies.
Based on the figures Buunk and colleagues provided and thus the numbers are only informed approximationsI replotted their data superimposing the max and min age ranges defined by the half-your-age-plus-7 rule. You can see that men are basically operating by the rule for minimum age preferences for marital relationships blue bars and serious dating relationships yellow bars. Those age preferences consistently hover around the values denoted by the rule the black line. If anything, in practice men are more conservative when it comes to preferred marriage, preferring a minimum age higher than the rule would say is OK.
Male Participants' Minimum Preferred Partner Age as Compared to the Rule When it comes to sexual fantasies, however, men have minimum age preferences that are younger than the rule would designate appropriate.
For example, this sample of year-old men report that it is acceptable datiny fantasize about women in their 20s, which the rule would say is unacceptable. But fantasies, of course, are yesr generally subject to public scrutiny and the rule is only 22 year old dating 30 year old ol calculate what is socially acceptable in the public eye—so this discrepancy is not necessarily a failure of the rule. For rule-related involvement e. The rule states that you can calculate maximum acceptable partner ages by subtracting seven from your own age and multiplying it by 2. The rule overestimates the perceived acceptability of men becoming involved with older women. Instead, men report maximum acceptable partner ages that hover around their own age through their 40s.
After 40, maximum age preferences for most categories remain lower than their own age. Thus the rule for maximum ages is fairly ineffective at capturing what men actually believe is acceptable. He approached the line with two other partners, but is well within the threshold in his marriage with Amal Alamuddin.
Do You Date Age-Appropriately?
Does the rating work for women? The minimum rule half-your-age-plus-seven seems to work for men, although the maximum rule falls short, failing to reflect empirical age-related preferences. Below are the data from Buunk et al. In other words, while the rule states that year-old women can feel comfortable dating year-old men, this does not reflect the social preferences and standards of women.